


What Would I Do?

by whimsicalMedley



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, RIP, Romance, Singing, The squad watches Falsettos, it gets emotional, they all cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-28 19:44:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15056408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whimsicalMedley/pseuds/whimsicalMedley
Summary: It all started when Christine took them to see Falsettos.Or,Jeremy and Michael sing a song and things get emotional.





	What Would I Do?

**Author's Note:**

> deadass based on my experience seeing Falsettos in theaters with my sister. i went in thinking i wouldn't cry, and i sobbed for fifteen minutes after it was over. also i love this song (even though i cry every time i listen to it), and i like making the boys emotional.
> 
> FOR THOSE WHO HAVEN'T SEEN FALSETTOS:  
> 1\. see it  
> 2\. basically Marvin leaves his wife Trina and son Jason for a man named Whizzer. The musical goes through their relationships, and since this takes place in the 80s and people love suffering, Whizzer dies of AIDS. the end.
> 
> enjoy!

“Guys! Please?”

Jeremy smiled softly, a small laugh escaping him. Christine was staring at the group with her best pair of puppy dog eyes, silently pleading them to listen to her. The girls seemed to be cracking, and while the guys tried their best, Jeremy could tell it was getting to them too.

Jeremy unplugged Michael’s phone from the aux cord, shifted in his seat in the car to turn to Christine, and handed the cord to her.

“Hey!” Michael complained, and Jeremy rolled his eyes.

“You knew she was going to win, Micah. Go with it.” Jeremy replied, and Michael merely sighed in agreement.

Christine let out a whoop of excitement, and everyone else glared at Jeremy, who shrugged. They were all packed into Jake’s mom’s car (since Michael’s PT Cruiser was _way_ too small), on the way to the movies. The only reason Michael was driving was because no one trusted Jake to get them there in one piece, and Michael was more than happy to not be crammed in the back.

Jeremy was also fine with this, considering Michael wouldn’t let anyone else be shotgun.

“Seriously Jeremy? You’re not even _dating_ anymore and you’re still whipped!” Rich whined, and Jeremy snorted.

“Am I not allowed to offer the aux cord to my good friend?” He retorted, and Rich glared at him harder.

“Shush!” Christine exclaimed suddenly, making everyone in the car jump. Then, music began to filter through the speakers.

“Four Jews in a room bitching; Four Jews in a room plot a crime…”

“What _is_ this?” Michael said incredulously.

“It’s Falsettos?” Christine replied with a sigh, and Jenna looked at her, an odd expression on her face.

“Aren’t we literally going to the theaters to see that _right now?”_ She asked, and Christine merely nodded with a smile.

When Christine had seen that Falsettos would be in movie theaters for two days only, she demanded that the entire squad go and see it with her. And frankly, who could argue with a determined Christine Canigula?

“Consider it a preview.” Christine giggled, and the car merely nodded in resignation. They loved Christine, but she was also very…passionate about everything she loved. That included Falsettos.

As the song continued, Michael seemed to get more into it. Jeremy raised his eyebrow at Michael when he looked over at Jeremy, to which Michael merely grinned widely.

“What? It’s catchy!” Michael laughed, and Jeremy felt a smile grace his own face. Michael continued to stare at Jeremy, his face turning a bit pink. Jeremy looked back, getting lost in the face of Michael Mell, who easily had the prettiest eyes Jeremy had ever seen. They were a dark brown, and they always turned the color of honey when the sunlight hit them, which it was doing now. Jeremy’s breath caught, and he could feel his face turning red, but Michael was a bit like the sun; painful to look at for too long, but you want to do it anyway.

A honk broke the moment.

“The light is green, lovebirds.” Jake snickered, and Michael threw him a glare through the rearview mirror. Jeremy hastily looked out the window, ignoring everyone’s laughter. Jeremy did _not_ have a crush on Michael.

Michael, his best friend of twelve years. Michael, who never gave up on Jeremy, even when Jeremy had given him every right to. Michael, who only let _him_ call him Micah. Michael, who had the prettiest eyes and the handsomest face and the dorkiest laugh and who always made sure Jeremy was okay and—

“Jer?”

Jeremy jumped, causing Michael to laugh loudly. Jeremy glared at him, but he knew Michael knew it was for show.

“We’re here, airhead. Let’s go.” Michael replied, and Jeremy quickly got out of the car.

“I’m _so_ excited guys! Thank you so much for coming with me!” Jeremy could hear Christine gushing, and he smiled. He and Christine had broken up about a month after getting together when they both realized they worked much better as friends. Things had been awkward at first, Jeremy couldn’t deny that, but it got easier. Better.

“Is…is that a box of tissues?” Michael asked, and Christine nodded seriously, “why?”

“You’ll see.” Christine said with a wide smile, and Rich scoffed.

“I’m not gonna cry over a musical Chris.”

Christine smiled wickedly.

“We’ll see about that.”

* * *

 The teens walked out of the theater together, the tissue box empty. Chloe and Brooke were holding hands for emotional support, Michael had his arm around Jeremy’s shoulders while Jeremy held Michael’s waist (which was _not_ doing weird things to his heart, thank you very much), and Christine was patting Jenna’s shoulder consolingly.

Rich hadn’t stopped sobbing.

Jake was hugging him tightly, walking backwards to comfort him. Dorks.

“It’s—It’s not _fair!_ Whizzer and Marvin were in _love_ and Jason looked up to Whizzer like a second father! Why did they kill him?” Rich wailed, “who wrote this musical? I’m gonna kick their ass for making me cry. What the fuck.”

“Whizzer Brown deserved better, thanks for coming to my TED Talk.” Michael said, his voice still shaky, causing the group to mutter in agreement.

Jeremy wiped his eyes again, his breath still uneven. Christine hadn’t told them what the musical was about, and now he knew why. It was a great musical (and Andrew Rannells was always nice to look at), but it hurt.

When everyone got into the car, they took a moment to compose themselves.

“I cannot believe you made me watch that Christine. You should’ve told me to wear waterproof mascara.” Jenna muttered, and Christine laughed.

“Sorry?”

That’s when it started.

* * *

 As the weeks continued, Jeremy found himself listening to the Falsettos soundtrack more and more. It was a good break from senior year work, which was getting harder, and also gave Jeremy an excuse to cry. Michael would listen with him, and they would belt out I’m Breaking Down, which Michael would always finish with “big mood, Trina.”

They agreed however, to not listen to it in the car. The end of the musical made Michael emotional, and an emotional Michael and driving were not a good combination.

Things were good. Jeremy was a senior, he had friends, he and Micah were closer than ever, and the SQUIP incident was in the past.

Then it went to shit.

* * *

 “A talent show?” Jeremy groaned as he left the theatre. Mr. Reyes hated them. Jeremy was sure of it.

“I know, right?” Michael whined, slamming his head into his locker.

“Okay, no, we’re not doing that.” Jeremy yelped, placing his hand on Michael’s forehead. Michael sighed and opened his locker, his headphones softly playing what sounded like I’m Breaking Down.

“Hey,” Jeremy said suddenly, and Michael turned to him, “do you wanna sing something from Falsettos together?”

Michael’s brow furrowed, mulling it over.

“If you want to?” He replied, uncertainty in his voice, and Jeremy nodded.

“Let’s do it!"

* * *

 He couldn’t do this.

“I haven’t sung for anyone in so long and what if I mess up? What if my voice breaks? What if I start crying? Oh god, I’m gonna start crying aren’t I? Why did I—”

“JEREMY!”

Jeremy screamed, whirling around to see Christine, her hands on her hips.

“You’re on in five. It’s gonna be fine. You and Michael practiced for hours. Breathe.” She said soothingly, and Jeremy took a few deep breaths.

“You’re right.”

They _had_ been practicing. Jeremy had taken Marvin’s part since Michael still wasn’t completely comfortable with performing for people, and Whizzer had less singing parts. They had gotten the staging down pat, and Michael was at a place where he was semi confident with his lines, which was as good as it was going to get.

“Jer?” Michael called, and Jeremy walked out without a second glance at Christine, which made her laugh softly.

“Ready?” Jeremy asked when he got to Michael, who was dressed much more formally than normal. His hair was slicked back, and he had left his glasses in the dressing room. That made his eyes pop more, and Jeremy had to avert his eyes.

“I…I think so.” Michael replied, and smiled at Jeremy’s surprised look.

“MICHAEL MELL AND JEREMY HEERE!” Mr. Reyes called, and Jeremy walked onstage to introduce their song. The music started up, and Jeremy took a deep breath.

_“What would I do_  
_If I had not met you?_  
_Who would I blame my life on?_  
_Once I was told_  
_That all men get what they deserve._  
_Who the hell then threw this curve?_  
_There are no answers._  
_But who would I be_ _  
If you had not been my friend?”_

Jeremy felt his lips turn up into a sad smile, the song hitting a bit too close to home. Who _would_ he be without Michael? Probably dead. Probably a lot worse than he already was.

_"You're the only one,_  
_One out of a thousand others,_  
_Only one my child would allow._  
_When I'm having fun,_  
_You're the one I wanna talk to._  
_Where have you been?_ _  
Where are you now?”_

Michael walked onstage, and Jeremy’s breath caught, just like it was supposed to. But at this point, Jeremy was lost in the song. He had gotten a little choked up during rehearsals, but this was different. This felt real.  
  
_“What would I do_  
_If I had not loved you?_  
_How would I know what love is?_  
_God only knows, too soon_  
_I'll remember your faults._ _  
Meanwhile, though, it's tears and schmaltz.”_

Jeremy’s breath stuttered, and he took a second to compose himself as the lyrics broke.  
  
_“There are no answers._  
_But what would I do_  
_If you had not been my friend?”_

Michael’s voice poured out then, and Jeremy felt his hands clench.

_“All your life you've wanted men,_  
_And when you got it up to have them,_ _  
Who knew it could end your life?”_

Jeremy replied,

_"I left my kid and left my wife_  
_To be with you,_ _  
To be insulted by such handsome men.”_

Michael let out a little laugh then, and continued,

_“Do you regret—?”_

Jeremy cut him off a bit too early, his voice holding conviction, and caught Michael by surprise.

_“I'd do it again._  
_I'd like to believe that I'd do it again_  
_And again and again..._  
_And_  
_What more can I say?_ _  
How am I to face tomorrow?”_

Michael’s voice joined Jeremy’s and both were wobbly as they sang,

_“After being screwed out of today._ _  
_ _Tell me what's in store.”_

Jeremy took a deep breath, steeling himself for the next set of lyrics.  
  
_“Yes, I'd beg or steal or borrow_  
_If I could hold you for_ _  
One hour more.”_

As Michael echoed the lyrics, Jeremy felt tears spill over his cheeks. This was getting too personal for his liking. It made him think back to the SQUIP, to when he had been unable to see Michael at all. When he called his Player One a loser.

_“Once I was told_  
_That good men get better with age.”_  
  
They both sang, and Jeremy held back a sob as he saw tears trail down Michael’s cheeks as well.

_“Were just gonna skip that stage.”_ Jeremy sang, and a hiccup escaped Michael’s lips. _  
_

_“There are no answers._ _  
_ _But what would I do…”_

As Michael finished his line, he began to walk offstage. Jeremy reached his arm out, and almost ran after him, before he remembered what he was really doing.  
  
_“No simple answers._  
_But what would I do?_  
_If you had not been_  
_My friend._  
_My friend._   
_My friend.”_

As the piano faded out, Michael walked back onstage to give his bow, but Jeremy was having none of that. He ran towards Michael, who looked up in surprise, and hugged him tightly, the force of impact sending them both to the ground. After Michael regained his composure, he hugged Jeremy back just as tightly, burying his face in the crook of Jeremy’s neck and letting out a sob.

“That sucked.” He hiccupped, and Jeremy gave a watery laugh. Michael wasn’t talking about the performance.

“Yeah it did. But we made it through together. Right?”

“Right.”

**Author's Note:**

> that was fuckign cheesy and also not my best work but fucc it i needed this out dfjkfdskjlfskjl
> 
> also if u care: the entire class was crying too and they got an a yeet
> 
> tumblr: trans-boy-hansen


End file.
